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GETTYLance Armstrong has been stripped of his Tour de France titles as a result
She, Anna Hansen, initially told the police she was driving, the couple having made a "joint decision" to avoid the inevitable bad press.
When Vicky Pryce did a similar thing and took on her (then) husband Chris Huhne's speeding points she was eventually convicted of perverting the course of justice. Ms Hansen has got off lightly. The charges of leaving the scene and driving too fast for snowy conditions have now been transferred to Armstrong, who could face a fine and up to 90 days in jail. Shame.
Two wheels bad, four wheels bad, as far as Armstrong is concerned. His life is a car crash entirely of his own making. A cancer survivor and once a global sporting hero he was stripped of his seven Tour de France wins and banned for life from racing in 2012 by the US Anti-Doping Agency for being a meticulously organised drugs cheat who bullied and intimidated anybody who tried to cross him and denied, denied, denied. It wasn't until 2013 that he "confessed" in an interview with Oprah Winfrey.
We're sorry that we were put in that place
Lance Armstrong, former Tour de France winner
On that occasion he rambled on about himself in the third person, usually the sign of royalty or a sociopath.
"I would want to change the person who did those things, maybe not the decision but the way he acted. The way he treated people, the way he couldn't stop fighting. It was unacceptable, inexcusable."
He has claimed that when he started taking performance enhancing drugs in the 1990s it was, you know, different times - the excuse that's now made about sex offenders in the 1970s.
In a recent interview with the BBC he said: "If I go back to 1995 - and some [other drugs cheats] started earlier, some a little later, but let's take that as ground zero - I think we're all sorry. And do you know what we're sorry for? We're sorry that we were put in that place."
Talk about refusing to take responsibility for your actions. "Sorry that we were put in that place"? Some apology.
Huhne and Armstrong are arrogant, contemptuous men who believe that the rules and regulations that constrain ordinary people don't apply to them. They are liars but really and truly they can't see they are doing anything wrong.
They are like children who don't want to get into trouble and they are like tyrants who believe that nobody else counts - a nasty combination.
Were they never taught to own up when they'd done wrong, tell the truth and take it on the chin? Armstrong couldn't do that when he brought an entire sport into disrepute and he still can't do it when he dings a car. Pathetic.
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WOW, Myleene Klass's name must be mud at the school gates. Two mothers at her daughter's school emailed that they would prefer "a class birthday gift for their daughters this year" (a Kindle for one and a desk for another, if you please) and suggested £10 donations prior to the joint party.
Myleene replied: "Dear all, for Ava's birthday [her daughter] she has requested a real, live unicorn. I will be collecting unicorn money via her book bag or in the playground...Additionally I'd like a Ferrari and Leonardo DiCaprio so by all means do feel obligated to contribute."
It was mean of her to tweet this to the world at large but she has a point.
Handing over a tenner is easier and taking your child to buy tat for friends' birthdays is tedious. But it teaches them a) that it's as nice to give as to receive and b) that it's the thought that counts. Asking for a tenner to finance a desk seems calculated and grasping.
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REXDakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades Of Grey
• We're told that only 20 minutes of the film version of the eagerly awaited spank-buster Fifty Shades Of Grey is devoted to actual filth which is surely, as far as fans are concerned, the reason to buy a ticket and some popcorn.
So what do the two characters do for the other 80 minutes of the film? Post-coital cuddles?
Undo all those fiddly bondage knots? Unbuckle the gimp masks?
Or perhaps the heroine says to the chiselled hero: "Let's talk about us." You know how women can never get enough of that.
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My sex education was patchy to say the least. I couldn't figure out why it was "bad" to have a baby when you weren't married if pregnancy (as I was led to believe) was something that just "happened" like a cold or a spot on your chin.
If you couldn't help pregnancy happening how could you be criticised if you didn't have a husband?
But then again why did children resemble their fathers? How could they? Perhaps it was something to do with the way dogs often end up looking like their owners. Puzzling.
Questions went unanswered though of course friends helped out with their own gobbets of misinformation.
Before we reached puberty we all managed via movies, TV, books, magazines and sniggering chit-chat to piece together a vague idea of what went where.
It's rotten wanting to know something and not being told. But Labour's plan to introduce sex education in schools for five-year-olds has been met with predictable outrage.
"Let children be children," cried Margaret Morrissey of Parents Outloud.
Yet even tiny children are fascinated by their own bodies and those of the opposite sex.
At my primary school a little boy always got his willy out during Friday assembly which we all found endlessly entertaining and never mentioned to a grown-up.
Another objection is that sex education should be left to parents. Yet we all know (usually from our own experience) that when it comes to sex education parents are beyond useless.
But should sex education stray outside its basic remit of teaching the "facts of life" into the bewildering world of adult relationships?
Little children have no use for this. Wouldn't it be better to keep the information simple, uncluttered and scientific? The plain "facts of life" rather than all the rest of the fandango?
GETTYEd Miliband is to reduced tuition fees to £6,000 if elected
If Ed Miliband becomes prime minister and reduces university tuition fees from £9,000 to £6,000 then what will happen to those who have been paying £9,000 since 2012 and are now in their third year?
Will they get a refund if they happened to have paid upfront or will part of their debt be waived? If not there will be thousands of extremely disgruntled graduates demanding an explanation.
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Talking of innocence. Even though we suppose children are on their computer games 24/7 it only takes a little wintry weather to bring out - as it always does - croaky-voiced adolescent boys in blazers without benefit of jumpers or gloves making snowballs on the way to school and throwing them at each other's heads.
They must be frozen but the sight of them warms your heart.
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REXThis piece by Michelangelo shows two naked men riding panthers
Once a great novelty, electronic cigarettes are to be seen everywhere. But what do you do if you leave your "vaper" at home? You say, as I heard someone declare: "Not to worry, I'll pop out for an analogue cigarette."
Or (and thanks to Louis Barfe and Clive Davis who pointed this little gem out to me) you are in agreement with the Irish jazz guitarist Louis Stewart who said: "Ah electronic cigarettes, I'm still on the acoustic."
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There's a new gadget on the market that can tell if food in your fridge has gone off. That'll be £80 thanks very much. I have had a similar device for some time. It's called a nose.
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Great excitement in the fine art world with the discovery that a pair of bronze statues of two naked men riding on panthers has been identified as the work of the great Michelangelo.
Sorry to strike a philistine note but can anyone tell me why any man would even think of sitting on a panther when he wasn't wearing pants? Nice bronze though...
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