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Of course, these people weren’t really complaining about Ora’s rather lovely, brown, spherical mounds of flesh, displayed beneath a tuxedo jacket, per seWas I offended by new Voice judge Rita Ora’s embonpoint, exposed on The One Show last week?
More than 400 people were and complained to the BBC, with 28 taking their gripe to Ofcom.
Have these people nothing better to do with their time? Why were they not hoovering pine needles, or protesting in the street about things that matter, like freedom of speech?
Of course, these people weren’t really complaining about Ora’s rather lovely, brown, spherical mounds of flesh, displayed beneath a tuxedo jacket, per se.
If this were the case, if they really just objected to the sight of women’s flesh, of being objectified, they would have stood with placards outside Earls Court last month, sabotaging the Victoria’s Secret catwalk show in which totally fake, man-made breasts exploded atop emaciated bodies that, like race horses, weren’t even allowed water for several hours before the off.
Or they would have been boycotting Ed Sheeran because he had the temerity to sing during the proceedings.
But no – which shows they were more than likely complaining about the fact Ora’s mounds were on display before the watershed, in front of the eyes of their impressionable, must-be-protected-at-all-times children.
Ora clearly wasn’t wearing a bra – if she had been in a push-up, the cleavage would have been like a seam, all sweaty, not nicely spaced out, and gravity-defying.
I was jealous, as I can never do slashed-to-the-waist, as I have two purple scars that knit in the middle of my breasts due to a breast reduction.
Ora clearly wasn’t wearing a bra – if she had been in a push-up, the cleavage would have been like a seam, all sweaty, not nicely spaced out, and gravity-defyingIf you really want to frighten impressionable teenage girls, we should put me in a slashed tuxedo on The One Show; presenter Alex Jones would run away, screaming.
Maybe, just maybe, the watching mums, covering their tots’ eyes with their aprons, were merely jealous the singing star doesn’t need the kind of support wear they do.
LIZ JONES: The best gift you can give your child? Some backbone 24/01/15 LIZ JONES: Goodbye death row hair, hello super-sleek soon to be First Minister Nicola 16/10/14 LIZ JONES: Sorry sisters... but some women really are nasty 12/10/14 LIZ JONES: I'm so short of cash, I've just stolen a glass of Prosecco 21/09/14 Can Mel B iron her hair straighter than Cheryl's?: LIZ JONES asks the biggest question on X Factor opening night 30/08/14 LIZ JONES: Starving, broke, afraid... oh, the joys of being a student 17/08/14 LIZ JONES: Listen up, men: dusting is NOT the key to more hanky panky 02/08/14 LIZ JONES: Oh for a real holiday, clutching a cardie in freezing Frinton 26/07/14 LIZ JONES: We've done the girls (and quite right, too) so here's... My guide to the beardy, fat, ill-dressed men in politics 19/07/14 VIEW FULL ARCHIVE If Keira Knightley or Jessie J had been on the show, revealing no breasts but instead acres of sternum and rib, would there have been one complaint?
Why are we so frightened of and disgusted by female flesh, but fascinated by our bones? Would the 400 outraged viewers rather Ora wore a niqab?
And was there an element of racism in the dissent? Remember the furore over Janet Jackson’s exposed nipple, whereas if Kate Moss shows hers (which she does with the ubiquitousness of Jamie Oliver speed-stirring mincemeat over Christmas), she is revered, handed millions to design clothes for pre-adolescents.
More offensive, and damaging, than Ora’s lovely body by far for me was the sight of Tulisa on Loose Women on Friday.
A once naturally pretty young woman has morphed into Nancy Dell’Olio.
The singer and former judge on The X Factor has more than three million followers on Twitter, the vast majority of whom are probably teenage girls.
She lost confidence during her year in the wilderness, falsely accused of selling drugs, and so, like many women, changed herself: in her case, her face.
I’m not condemning her – given my aforementioned scars, I know where she’s coming from. But chastising Ora for being loud and proud teaches women to be apologetic.
I remember interviewing Raquel Welch a few years ago, and her telling me about the famous scene in One Million Years BC, when she wore that doeskin bikini.
‘I never really looked like that. There was full-body make-up, costume, lighting. My nickname was “bird legs”,’ she said.
You see, even Raquel Welch felt bad about herself. We have to ‘stoppit’, as Bridget Jones would say…
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