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GETTYGoing for a walk can make you feel better
Sometimes a bathtub of gin just doesn't cut through the feeling that someone out there is living the life you ordered.
We can look to others for some emotional rescue but find the "closed" sign up as they can neither see or hear us. Other times a holiday or something lush to look forward to on the horizon is enough to drag us through the grey days and the gloom. Still it all feels like you are killing time – enduring life rather than enjoying it.
I used to work in an office where the coffee machine digitally counted down the seconds until a grey cup of mud was dispensed. I recall thinking it was like some portentous millennium–style clock ticking off moments of my life that I was not enjoying and reminding me to shape up and ship out.
So if life is showing up in black and white and you want to switch it to full Technicolor with wraparound sound you may need to start having a love affair with yourself.
That's easier said than done when you feel like a grey damp duvet is wrapped around you and life looks lacklustre even when it is wearing tight jeans, crooking its finger at you and giving you the cutest "come on" smile. You need to become your own sweet Valentine and restore those feelings that will keep the home fires burning even when you feel that your pilot light has gone out.
Here are some suggestions which will start to get you plugged in to the mellifluous rhythm of life and put that glide back in your stride.
if life is showing up in black and white and you want to switch it to full Technicolor with wraparound sound you may need to start having a love affair with yourself
• Start smiling at people and connecting with folk you see regularly at the station, shops, rubbish collectors, street sweepers, buskers etc. Feel the connectedness in your daily community.
• Go for a walk. Nature provides its own natural Prozac via birdsong, the subtlety of our seasons and the great sense that you are but a small speck in a vast universe. It keeps things in perspective.
• Wear your best stuff. Get your best clothes, undies and cosmetics out of storage and wear it right now. This time, right here, right now, is one to celebrate.
• Be generous and practice random acts of kindness. Buy a coffee for a stranger, send unexpected thank you notes and compliment folk. It comes straight back at you like a big karmic boomerang.
• Do less. We are all doing far too much and we are not building in enough down–time treats to restore ourselves.
• Create daily habits which nurture and lift the heart.
• Regularly scare yourself silly by trying new skills, speaking up, meeting new people or committing to something that will stretch you.
WANT a daily lift? Train yourself to think of one major positive thought about your day before you even get out of bed. It works.
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Such exciting news that Bob Dylan is covering some classic Sinatra songs in his new album Shadows Of The Night.
Old favourites such as Autumn Leaves along with Some Enchanted Evening sit alongside some of the more obscure ballads such as Stay With Me and I Am A Fool to Want You.
It appears to be an unlikely foray for the 1960s troubadour who was the voice of a generation with his songs about justice and who, it seems, has harboured a guilty pleasure in the decade of rebellion, that he had a secret passion for lounge music all along.
Sinatra, in my mind, was simply the voice of the century and as an Oscar–winning actor, dancer and largerthan–life character who lived life to the max no one has come close to following in his footsteps.
I have been a fan since I was 12 and was privileged to have seen Ol' Blue Eyes three times at the "Francis" Albert Hall in an era when I was equally shaking a tail feather in 1970s discos and pogoing at punk gigs.
His excellence as a singer and his phrasing made him a genious of his genre. Not so much like a rolling stone but certainly a swinging one.
Keep on knocking on heaven's door, Bob, and keep the Chairman of the Board the CEO of our hearts.
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Your weekly malapropisms seem to lift the spirits on a Monday and it's thanks to Margaret Bye of Leeds who recalls her late mother's neighbour whose favourite sweet flan was made with "aprilcocks" and who went to the doctors as she was worried about getting "trombonist" in her legs.
Meanwhile Margaret Snowball's mother–in–law had problems with her hearing aid but reassured everyone that it would be fixed by the "ornithologist".
Phil Rimmer of Liverpool shares a delight from his grandmother boasting of her home decoration skills and who had touched up the skirting boards with some beautiful "Durex" paint.
Know any Mrs Malaprops? Don't keep them to yourselves.
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