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Along with our hopes of quality downtime comes the chill fear blowing across the wastelands of the great unknown. Illness, isolation, lack of power and dependency cast a pall on our twilight years.
All of us, at whatever age, need to start putting aside a down payment on a happy dotage.
I don’t mean the monetary minefield that is pensions but a physical and spiritual fund that you can start banking in the here and now to ensure the twilight years are well lived and meaningful.
Icelandic singer Bjork, talking to Jo Whiley on Radio 2 last week, summed it up superbly: “You have to build a spiritual cathedral to hang out in when you are 85 or it will be rubbish,” she said when asked about her views on ageing.
She went on to say this isn’t easy – hard labour, in fact – but it is an investment infinitely worth focusing on.
No need to wait until there’s snow on the roof to start asking yourself what makes you happy and developing real self-love – not just shopping and over-indulging but the ability to forgive yourself for your own humanity and, by extension, others too.
Knowing and appreciating what raises a smile and gladdens the heart develops an attitude of gratitude that works better on wrinkles than collagenrich creams ever could.
Acceptance of what is – your ever-changing body and the inevitable stages of aging, that you can’t change others only yourself and wherever possible not letting fear get in the way of loving your life and reaching your potential.
Being generous to yourself and everyone else, not fi xating on regret, past traumas and “if onlys” but enjoying the here and now and all the peace there is in being present to the moment.
Taking joy in nature and relishing exercise whether walking, sport, tai chi, yoga or the pasodoble at afternoon tea dances. Letting go of negative attachments such as our painful expectations of how we want life to be or wished it had been and embracing change as life’s main constant.
Spiritual teacher Ram Dass, 83, articulates this in Aging Body, Ageless Soul when he writes: “The whole journey of aging is something designed to lead us from thinking of ourselves as egos to knowing ourselves as souls.”
It’s never too late to create a trust fund for your future self. Start your spiritual Isa now by simply asking: “At the end of today what would I like to say I learned, loved and let go of?”
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THE former Chelsea and France footballer Frank Leboeuf has become the first person to win the World Cup and have a role in a film nominated for Best Film at the Oscars, The Theory Of Everything.
Limiting beliefs keeps us stuck
Interviewed last week he was asked if he would swap his World Cup winner’s medal for a Best Actor Oscar to which he replied: “Why do I have to swap? Why can’t I have both?”
Love this answer. Limiting beliefs keeps us stuck. Why does it have to be one or the other? Does success need a caveat? Aim for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll end up among the stars.
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WE HAVE all heard about soul mates. That desirous “other” that is our mirror image, our intuitive No 1 fan. But what about soul animals? Haven’t you had a pet or met an animal that you felt a deep connection with?
Animal companions offer open-hearted acceptance of us in our happy times and never leave our side in our dark moments.
When our worlds fall apart they offer themselves – their soft underbellies for a stroke or curl up in our arms or lie at our feet in quiet consolation that is simple and pure.
One woman last week spent thousands of pounds on a pacemaker for her dog. If she could, why not?
The other day my soul cat Peekachou stretched luxuriously and looked at me with kind eyes as if to say: “It’s all OK and all will be OK.”
I made a cup of tea and thought about it. And it was.
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THE feedback you are sending in is that Monday’s malapropisms have become the highlight of your day.
Thanks this week to Ian Thomson of Angus who recalls his wife’s friend’s trip to a ladies’ group. “It was terrible,” she said. “They treated me like a leopard.”
Pearl Simpson, 73, of Nuneaton shares this story: “When I was 15 I sent my German penfriend a photo of myself and she wrote back saying, ‘Thank you for the picture, now I can see what a sight you are.’”
Pearl adds it couldn’t have been such a bad photo as they have remained lifelong friends.
T Smith emailed to dob in his wife’s contributions: “To become a doctor you have to swear a hypocritical oath” and, “She’s a fortunate girl. Both her parents are effluent.”
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