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GETTYThink of these gifts as investments in toleration
It’s not that you can’t find anything – hard skin removers, microwavable hot water bottles, novelty slippers guaranteed to go to the charity shop the day after Boxing Day.
No, it’s not inspiration you’re lacking but motivation.
Or more specifically the integrity to say: “I don’t really want to buy them anything” and mean it.
Come on, you know what I’m talking about.
The duty present for the cantankerous aunty or the hermit-come-hoarder brother-in-law living in the parental loft conversion in his 40s.
The bottom line is that it’s the “because we always do or there will be war” gift exchange which is less to do with goodwill but all about doing the right thing even if it hurts.
Former US secretary of state Colin Powell would be proud of you.
However as far as international peace-keeping goes you’re just not feeling it but you’re battling out inner conflict between what you really want to do and what is the done thing.
Well they say it’s the thought that counts but what if the thought is resentment, bitterness and exasperation?
That sounds more like bad juju than the magic of giving and receiving.
It’s a problem that haunts even the great and good.
Stephen Fry was once given a Windows smartphone, which for him was as welcome as a dose of smallpox.
No doubt you have been on the receiving end of such a carelessly considered gift.
The mixed nut assortment when your allergy is so famous it requires a police escort to hospital, bath oil when you only possess a shower, the “thoughtful” wrinkle cream when you’re just 35.
You know they have given it as much thought as Simon Cowell gives to his likeability factor and you have to grin, bear it and thank them to boot.
It irks but each year we do it with a sigh and a wave goodbye to our hard-earned cash in exchange for family harmony.
Maybe we all need a bit of a reality check, have “that” conversation and stop pretending that all is well and using a new cheese board, book token or bottle of sherry to provide the social cement to keep things just so.
But that’s the unreal world of a US sitcom where people “speak their truths”.
Real life isn’t like that.
So think instead of these gifts as investments in toleration for when we do something for the greater good, despite it being a pain to ourselves, is an act of love.
Even if it does come in the guise of a crummy gift.
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THEY say in good economic times hemlines rise and when recession hits we withdraw into longer skirts and cover-up style strategies.
So what are we to make of Parisians’ passion for onesies?
These superannuated, fleeced baby-grows are flying out of the shops as the City of Lights is set on a hot chocolate and an early night rather than high-kicking frolics at the Moulin Rouge.
Having been to Paris recently it did seem surprisingly lacklustre.
The service was slack and complacent, the food was so-so and the people looking glum and careworn without their usual lofty hauteur.
It comes to something when the people who brought us fine wines, exquisite perfumes and haute couture start dressing for the sofa rather than the catwalk.
Jeremy Kyle your cross-Channel audience awaits…
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THE next week or so could be a time you find yourself under stress and stretched physically and emotionally.
In order to give yourself some grace and forgiveness observe your moods like a toddler putting together a complicated puzzle.
Notice when you become stressed and triggered, tired and cranky and give yourself some kindness and compassion.
When you play witness to yourself and your feelings you give yourself peace and choices.
You can see and understand your emotions and reactions without being them and therein lies liberation.
May I take this opportunity to wish you all a happy and hopeful Christmas.
Give yourself lots of love.
Then double it.
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WE ARE still on a roll with all your affectionately remembered malapropisms said by friends and relatives.
Thanks this week to Hazel Buckley who wrote: “My favourite malapropism was said by my dear mum.
"We were talking about living a long life and she said to us: ‘I don’t mind how long I live as long as I’ve still got my facilities (faculties) left.’”
M Hunter wrote: “A lady phoned the doctor and said she was so angry that she banged down the ‘retriever’ on him.”
It sounds more like she needed to phone the vet than the doctor after that.
Please keep brightening my day by sending in malapropisms.
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